Rat Race

Ready or not

By Olive L Sullivan


My New Year’s resolution this year was not to resolve anything. I thought I would just continue working toward the goals I had set, so I used the year’s end to review my progress and think about what comes next.

Then I went to work.

The guys were on their bikes on the plant floor, dripping puddles of sweat as they pumped up the Italian hills. This is a sight that always makes me feel guilty, but I was still limping from a muscle I pulled on New Year’s Eve, so I felt relatively virtuous.

“Want to join our race?” Scott asked.

“Oh,” I said, exaggerating my limp, “catch me next week. I promise I’ll ride then.”

“No,” he said. “This is something new.”

Oh, lord. What’s next?

Turns out what’s next is a weight loss challenge. Nancy, who is tall and slim, stood by as the guys filled me in. The goal is to lose 10 percent of your body weight. The first to reach that goal wins $50 cash.

“I demand a handicap!” I said. I insisted that it was far more difficult for a middle-aged woman to lose weight than for a younger, athletic male. I should have known they would have done their research. Turns out it is equally difficult for any person to lose 10 percent of their body weight, although science does acknowledge that it becomes harder for anyone to lose weight as they age. In fact, they informed me ever so politely, it would be easier for me to reach my goal because I had more to lose. Huh?

The youngest competitor in our challenge (yes, of course I joined in – I’m a joiner) is Rocky, who just turned 30 and failed to change his eating habits. He cleans up his daughter’s dinner plate, and it’s beginning to catch up with him, or so he claims. I hadn’t noticed. He wants to lose 16 pounds. Two of us are in our upper forties, and need to lose comparable hefty amounts. Several staff members are not participating, saying that they can’t afford to lose 10 percent of their weight, even if it were possible to do so. Sigh. I’m looking forward to being able to say that about six months after I’m dead!

When I told my boyfriend Spike about it, he had just the thing. I have been trying to lose weight forever, most recently with Nutri-System, but Spike drug out a tattered copy of the venerable Scarsdale Diet. “Works for me,” he said.

Whatever. So he copied out the week’s menu and I went grocery shopping. The first few days weren’t bad, because of course you do get a lot of meat, and it’s not dissimilar to the low-carb diet I tried when I was a member of Curves. Let me point out that all these diets and meal plans have worked for me, up to about 20 pounds. It’s just that I need to lose more than 20 pounds!
By day three, Eddie and I were getting a little grumpy. We were protective of our carrots. The company ethic of sharing and group harmony was fraying at the edges. One day I was riding my bike on the trainer, when Eddie came along and turned up the resistance. I gasped, “Are you trying to kill off the competition?” When he turned it down, though, it sure felt good.

“See?” he said, munching another carrot.

Meanwhile, Adam brings in ever more succulent stews and exotic dishes from home. He’s one of the guys who doesn’t need to lose weight. And there are still cookies and a jar of candy on the break room table from Christmas.

The good news is that I am halfway through week two of the Scarsdale plan, and it really is working. I’ve lose 11 pounds, which took me past the plateau I had hit with Nutri-System. I’m not going to tell you what my goal is, but let’s just say I have a ways to go. But it’s working, and I can’t wait to spend that $50 on a new pair of – smaller – jeans!
I have to thank the guys for encouraging this push. It’s not something I would have done on my own, being basically lazy and self-indulgent. But next weekend when I’m snowshoeing through the pristine Colorado wilderness, I’ll be glad to be part of a company that supports our fitness goals. Just don’t tell them I’m gr

My column "Back to the Rat Race" appears every two weeks in Joplin Tri-State Business. This edition was published on January 26, 2009. JTSB is now available online at www.joplintristate.biz.